The heart-wrenching and revolutionary memoir I’m Glad My Mom Died, written by Nickelodeon teen star Jennette McCurdy, deserves nothing less than a five-star review. McCurdy, most famously known for her roles on the hit Nickelodeon television shows iCarly and spin off series Sam and Cat, shares her childhood with the reader, shedding light on the difficulties and hardships she experienced growing up with her abusive and narcissistic mother, eating disorders, addiction and everything in between.
To start the memoir, McCurdy reminisces on her young childhood and life while growing up with her mother. She reveals that her mother was extremely abusive, and adds detail of her previous battle with breast cancer which then transformed her into an excessive hoarder after entering remission. Because of her hoarding problems, McCurdy and her three brothers were forced to sleep on lightly-cushioned mats in their family living room because their bedrooms were full of their mothers belongings. Along with this, she reveals her mother and father’s extremely strained and abusive marriage, and just how much that affected her being a young child. Then, McCurdy describes the extent to which her mother controlled her, revealing that McCurdy had never even wanted to pick up acting and that it really was just her mothers childhood dream that she was never able to accomplish. Because McCurdy loves and adores her mother so much, she feels like she needs to do whatever she wishes to make her happy, even at the cost of her own happiness as a young girl. For years, McCurdy played many smaller roles and developed anxiety regarding acting, but her mother dismissed her, as always. She later develops a small voice in her head, which she believes to be the Holy Spirit, but it is later suggested that she could have obsessive compulsive disorder, or OCD, which again is dismissed. While aging and developing into a teenager, McCurdy does not enjoy her new body because she fears she can no longer be cast for children’s roles, which will ultimately send her mother into a spiral. Because of this, she turns to her mother for comfort, who then teaches her the ins-and-outs of calorie restriction. For McCurdy, this point in the book was the start of a slippery slope which led to years of other eating disorders, such as anorexia and bulimia. Soon enough, McCurdy lands a life-changing starring role playing Sam Puckett on the hit TV show iCarly, and eventually forms a close friendship with her co-star, Miranda Cosgrove, despite their extremely different backgrounds. Shortly after the success of iCarly, it is revealed that McCurdy’s mother’s cancer has returned once again, putting her life to a halt. McCurdy goes on tour for her new country album alone, marking the first time being without her mother. Because her possessive mother isn’t there to restrict her, she falls victim to binge-eating habits. When she returns from her tour, she has noticeably gained weight and her mother belittles her, ultimately leaving McCurdy promising to diet for her mother. McCurdy then begins dating her co-worker, and hiding the relationship from her suspecting mother. Later when her mother discovers the relationship due to leaked photos from TMZ, she erupts in a rage which includes a barrage of abusive messages attacking McCurdy’s character and ultimately declaring her completely worthless. When McCurdy returns home to her mother, they act as if nothing ever happened between the two of them. While her mother’s health continues to deteriorate, McCurdy begins to turn to alcohol and ultimately on the day of her mother’s death, she is numb with alcohol. Later, McCurdy develops bulimia and meets and falls in love with a man, Steven, and after discovering her eating disorder he serves her an ultimatum, leading her to join therapy. However, when the therapist tries to dig deeper into her relationship with her mother and suggests that the relationship may have been abusive, McCurdy fires her and stops going to her scheduled sessions. She later discovers after meeting with her father, that he is not actually her biological father after all. Steven then goes through his own midlife crisis, believing that he is Jesus Christ reincarnated, and is ultimately diagnosed with schizophrenia. It is then that McCurdy realizes her life is falling apart and seeks new treatment for her eating disorder. She ultimately breaks things off with Steven, and continues to improve and develop healthier habits all while focusing on repairing her own life, meeting her biological father, and stepping away from acting for good.
Throughout the entirety of the memoir, I was extremely invested. I had a hard time putting this book down because of how intriguing and interesting it was. I managed to finish this 320 page memoir in less than 16 hours, and I can honestly say that I was on the edge of my seat the entire duration of the book. McCurdy does such a great job of keeping the memoir upbeat and light, while also discussing extremely heavy and dark topics. She also pays tribute to her mother at the end of the book, but not in the way you would think. She doesn’t forgive her mother, as she expresses. I think the mother-daughter relationship the two had was extremely unhealthy, and she was extremely abused. Her mother performed bare body and breast exams, and even bathed and showered McCurdy up until she was 16 years old, including showering with her older brother as a pre-teen. All in all, this memoir was extremely eye-opening on the behind-the-scenes lives of young child actors, as well as young children everywhere and just how much they can be affected by their childhoods.
